Can I let you in on a little secret? I’m writing my first book.

I’ve wanted to be a writer from the time I was a little girl. My friend, Heather, and I were quite ambitious as children. We once started a petition to have the old Thompson house rebuilt as a point of historical interest, going door-to-door through our neighborhood acquiring signatures. We made plans to create a new board game. We published a newspaper for our street (9th Street News), which we sold to all the neighbors for 10 cents each until, dissuaded by the lack of interest we encountered, we began giving them away for free. We were aspiring detectives—Trixie Belden wannabes—recording the license plates of cars that looked “suspicious”.

We also wanted to be authors. I remember Heather and I reaching for the closest book in my bedroom one day (probably a Trixie Belden book!). We opened it up and located the name of the publisher. It was Random House. We then proceeded to contact Random House to learn how to go about publishing this book that we planned to write. Someone at Random House was kind enough to write us back. Imagine our surprise when we learned it wouldn’t cost us anything to publish a book. In fact, they PAY people to write books!

Our book never made it past the opening paragraph, but the dream was firmly planted in my heart. And there it stayed for 50 years.

From time to time over the years, I’ve pulled the dream out from where it’s remained neatly tucked. I’ve held it in my hand, turned it over and over a bit, even talked about it with a friend or my husband, and then tucked it back in. It just never felt like the right time to iron out the wrinkles and put a plan into action. I didn’t have the time or energy, or I didn’t know what to write about, or I didn’t think I had the necessary skills, or I thought no one would want to read what I wrote, or…. The excuses went on and on.

Through a series of circumstances (a story for another time), I’ve become convinced that now is the time to make my book-writing dream a reality. I don’t know how exactly it will take shape over the next months, but I’m jumping in with both feet!

On our most recent weekly Taco Bell date (We’re true romantics!), Hubby and I had a conversation about the ending to my book. (Keep in mind, I haven’t even written the first chapter.) I had been pondering how my story will end, and wanted his perspective. My story will be fiction, but based on real-life drama that, at least at this point, hasn’t found a happy resolution.

Fictionalizing my story gives me the option to end it however I want. I can have the “happily ever after” ending. You know, where Sherlock Holmes solves the mystery, where Batman defeats the Joker, and where the perfect Hallmark couple sails off into the sunset.

I can create a more subtle, contented ending, acknowledging the hard stuff but bringing the story to peaceful resolution.

Or my book can reflect the realistic unpleasantness of lies, hurtful words, and broken relationships, with no visible prospect of reconciliation. That’s the reality my eyes currently show me.

Should I write the ending I hope to someday realize in my real-life story? Or should I write what currently exists? I believe there is something about us that wants to hear the ugly stuff. We just don’t want it to end that way. Perhaps it’s because we can relate to difficulties. We see them, hear them, experience them every day. But we want endings that give us hope in the face of our own hardships. Will the reader be less than satisfied with anything other than happily ever after?

Hubby and I joked about making it a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book. You remember those. Will you take the path up the mountain (turn to page 82) or down to the lagoon (turn to page 94)? Will you confront the monster (turn to page 47) or hide in the cave (turn to page 61)? Do you remember the first time you turned to the prescribed page and found you had been eaten by a shark? Or drowned in quicksand? Not all of the endings in those books were happy!

Perhaps the idea of such a book is not as absurd as it sounds.

You’re needed, but not wanted, at your in-laws’ house. Do you postpone retirement and go anyway (turn to page 59), hire home health care against their wishes (turn to page 117), or stick your head in the sand and hope the problem disappears (turn to page 123)?

Your mother-in-law locks you out of the house. Do you sit on the porch until your brother-in-law gets home with a key (turn to page 63) or go out to dinner because you needed a break anyway (turn to page 78)?

In a sense, this life really is a Choose Your Own Adventure story. Many of our life circumstances are out of our control, playing out on pages we wish we could have avoided (pandemic, anyone?). Neither do we get to choose what the other characters in our real-life drama will do and say. We do, however, have the power to choose how we will respond to those things that affect us.

We get to choose whether to keep quiet or say what needs to be said.

We get to choose when it’s time to stay, and when it’s time to walk away.

We get to choose whether or not to pursue healing from the heartache inflicted on us, whether by our own or another’s choice.

And we get to choose whether or not to believe that God will keep His promise to work all things together for our good because we love Him (Romans 8:28). And that, my friend—believing God—is a happy ending no matter the circumstances.

Is it simply me? What kind of ending will you choose for your story? Will you live in the heartache the world offers? Or will you choose to believe that God has a good plan for you even in the difficulties of life? What practical steps could you take in order to be ever mindful of your power to choose? I would love to hear what works for you, or where you could use some extra help or encouragement.