I stood on the front lawn, the phone to my ear, a 9-1-1 dispatcher providing the assurance that help was on the way, and wondered if the gurney would fit through the mess of flower pots on the front sidewalk. A hauling service truck turned onto the street, ready to deliver the dumpster we had ordered. Immediately following was a fire truck, and an ambulance pulled up the rear. The poor Roto-Rooter serviceman stood in the garage wondering if he should finish clearing the stoppage in the lines or return at another time. The five vehicles parked in front of the house (ours the only one in working condition) added to the chaos that descended onto 32nd Street that day.

The stroke occurred on our 2nd day with my husband’s family. We had received word just four days prior that my father-in-law had cancer in both kidneys, and worse, his brain stem.

On receiving the news of my father-in-law’s diagnosis, and hearing the distraught tone in my brother-in-law’s voice as he verbally considered all the ramifications for the family, we canceled our 4th of July plans, our Yosemite National Park reservations, and instead loaded up the car and headed east, to Oklahoma.

At times I’m taken back to the “jinx” mindset of my youth. Surely you remember some jinx games or silly superstitions from your childhood as well. Step on a crack, break your mother’s back. Break a mirror and you’ll have seven years of bad luck. Repeat your dream to a friend and it won’t come true. And the ultimate power grab, when two people speak the same word at the same time, one says “Jinx,” and the other must remain silent until the jinxer repeats the jinxee’s name.

In my last post I shared my struggle in always “waiting for the other shoe to drop”, the next bad thing to happen, concluding that while there will always be another trial, another difficult circumstance to endure, God is faithful. He will be with us, He will hold us, and He will work out those painful trials for our good and His glory.

I actually had the thought that if I published that post, God was sure to put me to the test. It was nearly enough to make me delete it before I pressed the “Publish Now” button! But despite my “jinx” jitters, I pressed the button and sent my post on its way.

That was the day before we received my brother-in-law’s worrisome phone call.

In the words of my friend, Gary, “Don’t hear what I’m not saying.” In no way am I supposing that the sharing of my latest blog post prompted God to unleash the next trial my husband and I would face. That’s not the way God works. I’m merely relating some of the thoughts and emotions I had as I published that post. Ridiculous or not, there was a distinct notion of “tempting fate.”

We spent two weeks (4 days on the road, 10 days on the ground) working hard to get my in-laws’ house in order, both literally and figuratively. I won’t get into all the gory details, but suffice it to say that my in-laws are hoarders. Not the “prepare for a rainy day” kind, but the kind you see on reality TV. It was back-breaking work, on top of all the emotions of making sure a parent is ready (legally, spiritually, emotionally) to reach the end of life on this earth.

Those two weeks quite literally rank near the top of my “Most Difficult Times in My Life” list. And this season isn’t over. There is still much work to be done as we head back to Oklahoma in a few days to transition Dad from a skilled nursing facility, to home health, and finally to hospice. But I expect the remainder of this season to be as grace-filled as its beginning.

In the midst of these most difficult circumstances, God has allowed us to experience Him in ways we would never have imagined.

• His power truly is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). In spite of chronic illness and its accompanying fatigue, I was able to far exceed my normal limits of physical labor output. That doesn’t mean it was easy. There were several points where I collapsed in tears of exhaustion! But through His strength I could pull myself back together, wash my face, and keep moving.
  
  
• He is with us, even in our darkest moments (Psalm 46:1-3). I spent many nights alone in the hotel room—emotional, exhausted, unable to sleep—while my husband spent the nights in the hospital with Dad. Nevertheless, I was comforted by the sure promise of God’s presence with me. Insomnia was an issue, but never fear.
  
  
• He shows us the way to go (Psalm 32:8). We didn’t have to drop everything and leave for Oklahoma when we did. We could have waited until after our scheduled trip to Yosemite, but then we would not have been present when the stroke occurred. My mother-in-law would have been left to handle it on her own. There are lots of unknowns for the days ahead. Living 1500 miles away has its disadvantages! But through His faithfulness God has given us confidence that He will be our guide as we seek to walk with Him through these difficult days.

I can’t say that I’m looking forward to the rest of this season of difficulty. These are hard times! But I can move forward with the assurance that God will continue to provide all we need for the days ahead: His power, His presence, and His direction.

Is it simply me? How has God revealed Himself to you in the difficult seasons of life? How can you find the faith to trust Him for the challenging days that are sure to come?